Things I Learned Today

• Christmasing is a lot more fun than un-Christmasing
• While 1200 lights make a tree look spectacular, they are angst inducing to remove. And put on, frankly, but at least then you have the reward of the pretty.
• You will hit your 10,000 steps goal on your Fitbit by walking around and around and around the super gorgeous hateful tree trying to unwind said lights.
• I'm way, way excited about my new ornament boxes from my favorite store in the whole wide world.  I couldn't find them last year so snatched them up when I saw them in October.

• Even though I have these super awesome ornament containers that hold all of our ornaments I think I will probably have a hard time throwing away their original boxes. So I might end up with a giant Tupperware of just empty boxes. #hoarder
• When you (and by you I mean the general 8 year old you) nuke a piece of bread for 3 minutes it looks like this:

• It also fills the kitchen with smoke to the point that you can't breathe.  And hangs in the air for hours and hours.  And hours.
• And the child will have much guilt over nearly burning down the house and singeing your lungs and continually offer you her water.
• When you ask your wife to bring you Chardonnay so that you won't release her dog to the wild for peeing in her crate yet again because she liked sleeping on the couch with her human every day for two weeks and is pissed she's being left, she does:

• But by the time it gets here you will be too tired and over it all to waste a glass, so you leave it corked.

What is amazing is these are all the things I learned after 6PM tonight.  It's been a productive 5 hours.  I have to go to bed now because I'm too scared of what might happen next.